Living with Whine and Cheese: Singing the Baby Blues

While I'm no stranger to the postpartum blues that follow the arrival of a baby, nothing tugs at my heart more during the baby stages than the first birthday. My sweet Hope Elizabeth turned 1 yesterday and I'm so happy and sad all at the same time. With each child I have struggled with this momentous event, but with Hope it seems to be an even bigger challenge. I think it's because I know she will be my last baby.

No picture can recapture the moment I held her for the first time. No journal entry can recreate the feeling of nursing her as an infant. All of the First Holidays are done. At Target the other day I saw outfits for "Baby's First Easter" and almost got one forgetting that this will not be Hope's first Easter. I'm having a hard time imagining what life will be like without the anticipation of a new baby to look forward to. Chris, my wonderful husband, reminded me that the precious newborn and infant time, for me, is like a slice of heaven and that I haven't made it to heaven yet. My heaven will be holding my baby forever. Until then I need to focus on the wonderful gift God has given me on Earth. The gift of standing beside my husband and watching our three wonderful children grow up. There are many milestones to look forward to during Hope's second year. Each Holiday will be new for her as she doesn't remember last year's. She will cheer for Christian at his baseball games. She will copy Jayna's dance moves.

She will tell me she loves me.